Truth
by Raspberry Muffin
Summary: Just a little DS friendship piece. Set after 'Moving On'. Feedback please!


Disclaimer: Only the plot (Sam's past) is mine.

A/N:Just a lil thing that came to me after watching Moving On. Please review.

I was waiting for her to come out of the therapists office after her

session. I had just finished writing up my report about today's case,

Lianna Sardo.

I didn't understand how she could pretend to be her daughter. To mess

with peoples feelings like that. But then again I didn't know what it

was like to lose a child. I guess when you find them again, thoughts of

a fake don't really cross your mind. You're just glad to see them

again, and have them back in your life.

I hadn't seen Samantha much during this case, I had spent most of my

time at the hospital. Vivian told me earlier she got the feeling

something was bugging Sam. So I thought I'd wait and see. I mean, what

are friends for.

I look up from where I'm sitting as I hear a door open and sure enough

Sam walks out. I glanced at her before standing up to greet her. She

looks so sad, eyes full of pain, full of tears. Vivian was right,

something was bugging her. Whatever it is, it looks bad.

"Hey Sam!" I call cheerfully.

She looks up sharply, surprised not having noticed me there. She

immediately wipes her hand under her eyes removing any traces of tears

and forces a smile on her face.

"Hey Danny. What are you still doing here?" she asked.

"Well in case you've forgotten I'll remind you. It's thursday, so that

means it's pizza night. There's one calling your name at my place. What

do you say?" I asked grinning.

She smiled back, a real smile. "Okay."

There you go, I knew I could get her to smile. I thought to myself.

"Well let's go. I'm driving." I said.

I looked over at Samantha several times during the car ride home.

Everytime she was staring out the window, completely in her own world.

If you looked close enough, you could see the sparkle of unshed tears

still in her eyes. I sighed. Wanting to know what was bothering her so

much.

"Right we're here." I said pulling up outside my block a few minutes

later.

"Thanks Danny." she said, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze

before I got out the car, a small sad smile playing across her face.

I smiled back, knowing that she didn't just mean thanks for the ride.

"So what pizza do you want?" I asked walking into my apartment and

dumping my stuff on a nearby chair.

"Umm I don't mind. You can chose." she replied, wandering over to the

window to gaze out at the New York sky.

I watched her sadly, almost seeing the grief radiating from her body.

It tore me apart, to see my best friend like that. I didn't know what I

could do to help, but I was going to try.

"How about chicken and sweetcorn with extra cheese?"

"Sure that sounds fine." she said in a distant voice, still staring out

the window.

I dialled the pizza place and quickly gave them the order and the

address before hanging up and walking over to where Sam was standing. I

put a hand on her shoulder, and hesitated, not quite knowing what to

say. She solved that problem by talking first.

"You know that out there, right now, there could be someone going

missing." she said gesturing towards the streets below.

I sighed to myself. I had often had this thought too.

"Then we'll hear about it and we'll find them." I said after a pause.

"That's the only thing we can do Sam." No matter how much we wanted it,

we couldn't predict what was going to happen.

"What if it's too late by then?" she asked, pulling away from me to go

sit on the couch.

"Sam we can't do anything about that. You know that." I said turning

round to look at her. She slumped wearily on the couch.

Now it was her turn to sigh. "I know. I just...sometimes I wish we

could do more."

I walked over to join her on the couch, taking her hand in mine trying

to offer her some comfort.

"We do all we can." was all I could offer. But it was the truth. "Today

was a hard case wasn't it. Poor Dr. Sardo, imagine the pain of being

lied to like that." I said carefully watching Samantha's face for any

reaction.

I saw her jaw tighten, as she ground her teeth, and a flicker of regret

and pain in her eyes.

"Sam, what's going on?" I said moving so I could look her in the face.

She opened her mouth to speak. "Nothing I-"

"The truth Sam. I'm your best friend. I know when something's up."

She sighed, and looked away. "It's a long story Danny." she said. There

was a tone of defeat and pure exhaustion in her voice. A tone I had

rarely heard. I had only heard it once before, after the Annie Miller

case.

"We've got all night." I replied.

"Okay. You've got to promise me that this doesn't get back to anyone."

"I promise Sam."

"It was a long time ago. I got pregnant when I was 16, the father

ditched as soon as he found out." she let out a bitter chuckle. "I was

so scared I didn't know what to do, I couldn't do it on my own. Anyway

I eventually decided to tell my mom and dad. They completely freaked.

My dad went ballistic, he couldn't stand that I had 'shamed the family'

and why couldn't I be more like my perfect sister." She sighed,

fiddling with a ring on her hand. "My sister, she just stopped talking

to me. She felt like I had let them down. My mom...she was angry,

disappointed, you name it she was it. I never really got on with my

family, depressing really." She stopped for a minute, tears coming to

her eyes.

I took her hand again, and held it, tracing patterns on the back.

"I always got the feeling that they would have been so much happier, if

I hadn't been born."

I started to protest. "I'm sure they didn't think that-"

She laughed again, not happy laugh. It sent chills up my spine.

"I was an accident. They didn't even want another child."

"You don't know that Sam."

"Yes I do. I heard them talking some nights, you know 'money problems

since she was born.' Hell, my dad even told me once."

I stared at her shocked. "God Sam...I don't know what to say." How

could someone say that to their own daughter.

"Don't worry. I've moved on. Anyways ummm. Well they tried to get me to

have an abortion, but I refused. I couldn't just kill my baby. Then

when they finally got that I wouldn't do that they tried to convince me

to give the baby up for adoption. But I couldn't do that. I told them I

was going to keep my baby. Make her feel wanted. I knew it would be a

struggle, but I wanted to keep her, make her feel loved. I wanted to

prove that I could be better than my parents were to me."

She took a deep breath, and I sensed worse was coming.

"Because I was so stressed with everything that was going on, something

went wrong. They had to induce labour when I was about 7 months

pregnant. There were some complications, and when I woke up I'd found

out that I'd been in a coma for a week. My sister was with me when I

woke up, she was pretty shaken up, she said I'd almost died. That made

her realise that family was more important than other things. Of course

the first thing I asked about was my baby. God, I remember every detail

of this day. She got this look on her face, and I could tell something

was wrong. I kept on at her to tell me what happened. She said that my

parents had given her up for adoption when I was unconcious. My dad

knew some pretty high up people, and pulled some strings to make it all

seem legal, even though I hadn't given consent. I think also because I

was a minor it was easier." Samantha was now unable to contain the

tears running down her face. I pulled her into a hug, in complete shock

from what she had just told me.

"I never even got to see my baby girl." she choked out between sobs.

A few moments later, after many tears had been shed Samantha sniffled

and pulled away. "There's more." she said quietly.

I looked at her expectantly, wondering how much worse it could get.

"I did everything I could to try and find out what had happened, where

she had gone to. If she had gone to a good home, with loving parents.

My relationship with my parents just got worse and worse, we wouldn't

talk. I couldn't believe they had done that. God, I was so mad at them.

I tried to get my sister to find out from them what had happened. They

hadn't realised that my sister and I were talking again, so they didn't

mind telling her. One day she came to me, and said she had some news. I

was so happy, you know, I was finally going to find out where my baby

girl was. She would have been about 8 months by then. My sister just

looked at me and shook her head. I felt like everything was crumbling,

falling around me, and there was nothing to hold on to. I just stared

at her in disbelief, before breaking down crying. My sister had found

out from my dad, who heard from his contacts that a couple who couldn't

have children adopted her. They only lived in the next town over. They

had been driving somewhere and they had been hit by a drunk driver, and

all died instantly."

Samantha stopped abruptly.

"There you go."

"Jesus, Samantha."

My mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish. I looked at my best

friend who was staring at her hands. My best friend who had been

through so much and still found the strength to carry on.

I placed my hand under her chin, making her look up at me. She looked

at me, her eyes showing all her feelings. The suffering, sorrow, anger.

I understood why they were all there now. She tried to smile, but

failed and ended up burying her face in my shoulder and crying again.

Each anguished sob breaking my heart more and more. I held her close,

whispering to her how proud I was of her for not giving up and how much

she means to me. Even if her family didn't want her, didn't love her, I

do.

"Thanks for telling me Sam." I whispered to her. "It means a lot."

"Thank you for listening, and not judging me." she replied, looking at

me. "I can't tell Lisa, it's just too hard telling a stranger about all

your personal problems. Having them judge you, and they don't even know

a thing about you. So thank you."

I smiled. Samantha's simple words of thanks and the look of graditude

in her eyes meant everything to me. That she would trust me enough to

tell me. Well that's what friends are for.


End file.
